If you find yourself going on a number of first dates that don't lead to second and third dates, you may want to consider whether you hold incorrect beliefs about dating that are limiting your dating success. There are a number of myths about dating that reflect outdated beliefs about relationships. Let's consider some of the more common myths, and then compare them with the reality.
Myth: People who talk about themselves on a date will come across as arrogant and narcissistic.
Reality: Now, you don't want to go 'on and on' about yourself of course. But, you do want to provide your date with a way to know more about you! Your date cannot gauge whether they think you will be a good potential partner without information.
Don't worry about seeming like you are focused on yourself. You can prevent issues with this if you ask your date questions about themselves as well. This also signals to them that you are interested in getting to know them better.
Myth: The best relationships always start out with friendships.
Reality: Not true! It seems like it should be easier to develop a relationship with someone you already know well, but in reality it becomes harder to do so. The familiarity and sense of being comfortable with the person works against excitement and anticipation needed for romantic feelings to develop.
Myth: When you are out on a date, order a salad. This shows your date that you take care of yourself.
Reality: Ordering a salad when on a date can backfire. First, if you order something you don't actually want, you are not showing your date accurate portrayal of yourself. Be honest with your date about who you are, but don't go overboard and overeat either.
Also, ordering the salad when this is not your taste can suggest to the other person that you are trying too hard or are being fake. They may wonder if you are trying to seem like something that you are not. They may also wonder if you are overly cautious or restrained with your food choices, does this mean that you are also overly cautious or restrained in other areas of your life.
Myth: People who talk about themselves on a date will come across as arrogant and narcissistic.
Reality: Now, you don't want to go 'on and on' about yourself of course. But, you do want to provide your date with a way to know more about you! Your date cannot gauge whether they think you will be a good potential partner without information.
Don't worry about seeming like you are focused on yourself. You can prevent issues with this if you ask your date questions about themselves as well. This also signals to them that you are interested in getting to know them better.
Myth: The best relationships always start out with friendships.
Reality: Not true! It seems like it should be easier to develop a relationship with someone you already know well, but in reality it becomes harder to do so. The familiarity and sense of being comfortable with the person works against excitement and anticipation needed for romantic feelings to develop.
Myth: When you are out on a date, order a salad. This shows your date that you take care of yourself.
Reality: Ordering a salad when on a date can backfire. First, if you order something you don't actually want, you are not showing your date accurate portrayal of yourself. Be honest with your date about who you are, but don't go overboard and overeat either.
Also, ordering the salad when this is not your taste can suggest to the other person that you are trying too hard or are being fake. They may wonder if you are trying to seem like something that you are not. They may also wonder if you are overly cautious or restrained with your food choices, does this mean that you are also overly cautious or restrained in other areas of your life.
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Read more of this author's writing about subjects like the food thermometer and the wireless cooking thermometer.
