What You Need To Understand When Raising Step Children

By Grant Victor Xavier


Many people that get married often end up with a new husband or wife, and sometimes the stepchildren from a previous relationship. You will have to learn how to deal with these new children in your everyday life, each of which will have a variety of personality traits that are different. Step children can be a blessing, as long as you follow some of these common sense tips on how to properly nurture the positive relationship.

Your role as a stepparent will be much easier if your stepchildren are assured that you do not want to replace their natural parent. This is important as long as the children are old enough to be fully aware of the situation. Be very careful not to begin your new life with your step-kids by acting like their "parent." They won't like it and it will take longer for them to accept you. It's important that you and your stepchildren are friends, but they must also respect your relationship with your new spouse, in particular when it comes to the area of discipline. One obstacle that might take some time to work out is being perceived as both a friend to your stepchildren and a person of authority in their lives. It might take a little time to get this balanced out correctly.

Patience will be one of the main virtues you bring to your role as a stepparent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. Whatever the circumstances that separated your stepchild from the biological parent whose place you have assumed, they are likely to resist you at first. Keep in mind that part of the reason for this resistance and/or resentment is simply the fact that they miss their original parent. A lot of new stepparents try too hard to get accepted by their stepchild. It's important to be consistent, but equally important not to force yourself on the child. In time, the child will relax and accept you. This will come more easily if you just assure them you don't plan to replace their biological parent, but you are there for them whenever they need you.

Later on, it is important that you sit down with your spouse and figure out the best way that both of you can work together in raising the children. Sometimes issues will come up that you didn't anticipate, such as when you and your partner have a different opinion on something.

As a step parent, it would be ideal for the stepchildren to accept you from day one, something that traditionally does not occur. You need to realize that quite a bit of time must go by before the step children will begin to accept you and your new family will become balanced and fun. It is important to know that you will not be able to manipulate your relationship with these children, and that with patience and love, you will be accepted.

If you genuinely wish to make sure you have a very good relationship with all the members of your family, then it's important to take holidays together. Going on a getaway can do miracles for any family member, as it gives you so much quality time and energy to appreciate some actions together. Begin planning your next family holiday today.




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