If you are a school teacher, parent, social worker or guidance counselor you have had to work with challenging children with challenging behaviors. What is causing this challenging behavior? How can you help these challenging children?
A fairly,relatively new but very successful method of helping challenging kids is Collaborative Problem Solving invented by Ross Greene. It is very different than most programs is it is a collaboration between you, the person in authority with an expectation, and the child who is not meeting the expectation.
The three methods for dealing with challenging behavior are Plan A, Plan B or Plan C.
Plan A - Impose your will on the child
Plan B - Collaborative Problem Solving
Plan C - Drop the unmet expectation for now
Plan A is the first method we will discuss.
Plan A is by far the most used, the most common, and the most often assumed to be the best. Plan A is when you IMPOSE YOUR WILL on the child.
You: Johnny please brush your teeth!
Johnny: No I don't want to.
You: Do it now or I will spank your bum... Brush your teeth right now or you will have an early bed tonight.
Being the most common parenting style, you were most likely raised with Plan A. And you turned out great, right? Is there anything wrong with Plan A. In some cases Plan A works OK.
The problem lies when the child does not have a Plan A brain. This is the definition of a challenging child. Challenging children will exhibit challenging behaviors when they are not able to fulfill your expectation. They do not have the required skill set. Add to that the fact that you are now imposing your will on him, and things might not go well.
We will discuss Plan B, Collaborative Problem Solving, later.
Plan C is the idea of not having the expectation for now. It is about prioritizing and forgetting the small issues to focus on the big ones. It is not about dropping the expectation because the child had a "fit" or drove you crazy.
Let's pretend you have child who is hitting other children and won't say "please". In Plan C you would ignore the lack of please to work on the bigger issue which is hitting. Once the hitting issue is solved, the manners would come into play.
Plan B or Collaborative Problem Solving is only 3 steps:
Interview the Child
Interview the Person in Authority
Brainstorming Solutions that Address the Concerns of Both Parties
Step 1: The first step in Collaborative Problem Solving is getting the child's side of the story. "I've noticed you get very mad when I ask you to do english homework. What is up?" You might be amazed at the perspective the child may have.
Step 2: This is your opportunity to get all the details on paper from your perspective. What do you think is going on? Why do you think you child is struggling with...?
Step 3: You and the challenging child talk and work together to find a solution.
A fairly,relatively new but very successful method of helping challenging kids is Collaborative Problem Solving invented by Ross Greene. It is very different than most programs is it is a collaboration between you, the person in authority with an expectation, and the child who is not meeting the expectation.
The three methods for dealing with challenging behavior are Plan A, Plan B or Plan C.
Plan A - Impose your will on the child
Plan B - Collaborative Problem Solving
Plan C - Drop the unmet expectation for now
Plan A is the first method we will discuss.
Plan A is by far the most used, the most common, and the most often assumed to be the best. Plan A is when you IMPOSE YOUR WILL on the child.
You: Johnny please brush your teeth!
Johnny: No I don't want to.
You: Do it now or I will spank your bum... Brush your teeth right now or you will have an early bed tonight.
Being the most common parenting style, you were most likely raised with Plan A. And you turned out great, right? Is there anything wrong with Plan A. In some cases Plan A works OK.
The problem lies when the child does not have a Plan A brain. This is the definition of a challenging child. Challenging children will exhibit challenging behaviors when they are not able to fulfill your expectation. They do not have the required skill set. Add to that the fact that you are now imposing your will on him, and things might not go well.
We will discuss Plan B, Collaborative Problem Solving, later.
Plan C is the idea of not having the expectation for now. It is about prioritizing and forgetting the small issues to focus on the big ones. It is not about dropping the expectation because the child had a "fit" or drove you crazy.
Let's pretend you have child who is hitting other children and won't say "please". In Plan C you would ignore the lack of please to work on the bigger issue which is hitting. Once the hitting issue is solved, the manners would come into play.
Plan B or Collaborative Problem Solving is only 3 steps:
Interview the Child
Interview the Person in Authority
Brainstorming Solutions that Address the Concerns of Both Parties
Step 1: The first step in Collaborative Problem Solving is getting the child's side of the story. "I've noticed you get very mad when I ask you to do english homework. What is up?" You might be amazed at the perspective the child may have.
Step 2: This is your opportunity to get all the details on paper from your perspective. What do you think is going on? Why do you think you child is struggling with...?
Step 3: You and the challenging child talk and work together to find a solution.
About the Author:
There is a lot more to learn how to use CPS (CPS). If you would like to learn more check this out.
