There is a terrible plague racing across this land, my friends. A plague born upon the leafy wings of mustard greens soars overhead, dropping bombs full of bean curd and cabbage. The enemy wants nothing more than to make you feel guilty for eating the flesh of the inferior. They want to question the wisdom of eating things that contain such wonderful things like fat and salt. You alone, wearing your bacon t-shirt, can stand to this menace.
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
Let us also consider the long, terrible climb humans have made to ascend to the top of the food chain. Do you really think that there were Sabertooth Cat activists trying to rally their kin to quit eating people? Even if they could talk, I'm not sure that would have happened. People deserve their ascension to the top of the pyramid. The slow, stupid animals should have gotten their stuff together and learned some awesome defense mechanism if they wanted to not be eaten.
It doesn't help much that every celebrity you've ever wanted to see in the nude has gotten all riled up about animals being killed for food. Have you seen some of these ads? It's worse than a beer commercial. They use half-naked ladies to make us think that there is a slim chance they'll want to spend some time with you if you just stopped eating bacon. These are all lies! Those women would hate you whether you just ate a BLT or a salad!
Well, I'm not taking this abuse any longer! I'm standing up for my rights as a bacon-loving American this very instant. I'm putting on my bacon t-shirt, and I'm going to use that bacon t-shirt as a badge of ultimate authority against these terrible plant-eaters! I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore! Now...where did I put that bacon?
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
Let us also consider the long, terrible climb humans have made to ascend to the top of the food chain. Do you really think that there were Sabertooth Cat activists trying to rally their kin to quit eating people? Even if they could talk, I'm not sure that would have happened. People deserve their ascension to the top of the pyramid. The slow, stupid animals should have gotten their stuff together and learned some awesome defense mechanism if they wanted to not be eaten.
It doesn't help much that every celebrity you've ever wanted to see in the nude has gotten all riled up about animals being killed for food. Have you seen some of these ads? It's worse than a beer commercial. They use half-naked ladies to make us think that there is a slim chance they'll want to spend some time with you if you just stopped eating bacon. These are all lies! Those women would hate you whether you just ate a BLT or a salad!
Well, I'm not taking this abuse any longer! I'm standing up for my rights as a bacon-loving American this very instant. I'm putting on my bacon t-shirt, and I'm going to use that bacon t-shirt as a badge of ultimate authority against these terrible plant-eaters! I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore! Now...where did I put that bacon?
About the Author:
To fill your brain about bacon tee shirts go to bacon tshirts to see how it's done right.
