A question often asked by bridal couples is if it is suitable to use the monogram of the married couple's name on their wedding invite. The easy and correct answer is "No!"
While there are many wedding invitations that now use monograms, it is not proper etiquette and doesn't make a lot of common sense. Simply said "It isn't acceptable to use your 'married name ' monogram, because the couple is not actually married at the time the wedding invitation is sent." Some self-appointed "do your own thing" wedding specialists may not agree, but commonsense dictates otherwise.
Others simply feel that it's bad "Juju" and that one may jinx the marriage by anticipating the ceremony which has not yet been officially recognized by either civil or religious authorities. To most experienced stationers, the answer to this question is pretty straight-forward. Therefore , it was fairly surprising that a recent Crane & Co. wedding invitation sample featured a beautifully engraved monogram in their recently released Wedding Invitations Album.
Naturally, oneassumed that there had been a "boo-boo" since the monogram initials didn't have anything in common with the names of the bridal couple. After some forensic science, namely reading the small print, we discovered that the gorgeous engraged monogram was the monogram of the mother of the bride! In a note quoting Crane's Blue Book (the reference source of choice for wedding invite wording and etiquette), Crane states that "As the social hostess for the family, the bride's mother's monogram is traditionally imprinted on the invitation."
The origins of this custom needs further research. To be fair, some experienced stationers feel the mother's lovely monogram may overshadow the importance of her daughter's marriage. Common sense suggests that it might be more appropriate to let the attention fall on the bridal couple.
While monograms are very good for wedding stationery or the menu at the wedding reception, it is probably best to simply avoid the use of monograms on wedding invitations.
While there are many wedding invitations that now use monograms, it is not proper etiquette and doesn't make a lot of common sense. Simply said "It isn't acceptable to use your 'married name ' monogram, because the couple is not actually married at the time the wedding invitation is sent." Some self-appointed "do your own thing" wedding specialists may not agree, but commonsense dictates otherwise.
Others simply feel that it's bad "Juju" and that one may jinx the marriage by anticipating the ceremony which has not yet been officially recognized by either civil or religious authorities. To most experienced stationers, the answer to this question is pretty straight-forward. Therefore , it was fairly surprising that a recent Crane & Co. wedding invitation sample featured a beautifully engraved monogram in their recently released Wedding Invitations Album.
Naturally, oneassumed that there had been a "boo-boo" since the monogram initials didn't have anything in common with the names of the bridal couple. After some forensic science, namely reading the small print, we discovered that the gorgeous engraged monogram was the monogram of the mother of the bride! In a note quoting Crane's Blue Book (the reference source of choice for wedding invite wording and etiquette), Crane states that "As the social hostess for the family, the bride's mother's monogram is traditionally imprinted on the invitation."
The origins of this custom needs further research. To be fair, some experienced stationers feel the mother's lovely monogram may overshadow the importance of her daughter's marriage. Common sense suggests that it might be more appropriate to let the attention fall on the bridal couple.
While monograms are very good for wedding stationery or the menu at the wedding reception, it is probably best to simply avoid the use of monograms on wedding invitations.
About the Author:
Richard May is a Founding Member of the Stationers Guild and a co-owner of Therese Saint Clair, a stationery store found in Greenwich, CT.
