The Advantages Of Marriage Counseling New York

By Randi Boyer


Oscar Wilde once joked that bachelors should be taxed more heavily than their married counterparts, saying it was not fair that some men should be happier than others. That reflects the contradictory expectations of relationships, leading one comedian to compare them to mousetraps; those inside are trying to get out, while those outside are trying desperately to get in. For couples who need marriage counseling new york has a number of excellent practitioners.

This seeming contradiction of the popular institution inspired one comedian to say that it reminded him of a mousetrap, with those in desperate to get out, and those outside seeking to get in just as badly. Statistics do not bear out this gloomy picture of relationships, however; divorce rates, it seems, have been falling, contrary to popular perception.

From as high as sixty percent in the eighties, the rates are now as low as forty percent in some areas. It seems that modern couples are learning from the mistakes of their predecessors, and in the process having more success than their parents. Couple therapy may have played a role in this; however, there is little data to prove it, and more research is being done to find out this.

What research has found out is that not all couples will benefit from therapy sessions. Help seems to work best for those that have a foundation of friendship and affection to work from. Young, open minded couples who are still in love seem best placed to benefit from therapy.

The data also reveals that some individuals and couples are more likely to end up in divorce than others. These include those whose parents broke up, and the likelihood increases if those one or both parties then went ahead to remarry. Those who did not study to high school are likely to have an increased chance of the same, as are those that have low incomes, and especially if it is the husband who makes little money. The joker, it seems, was right.

The data also shows that some individuals and couples are more likely to end up in divorce than others; this may mean they need help from the start of their relationships. These include those that got hitched when they were less than twenty years old, are from different faiths and couples with limited income, particularly those where the husband makes little money.

Therapy provides an environment where couples are free to talk to each other without fear of misunderstanding or rejection, and where they can be held accountable for any promises they make. The therapist will listen without condemning; they will also help the individuals in a partnership understand why they do act and talk the way they do.

Perhaps a therapist most important role is to help partners let go of wrong patterns of communication and behavior, and develop more beneficial ones. It is important to note that therapy as most people know it is a relatively recent phenomenon; the role was, and still is played in some cases by friends, religious leaders, family members and so on. For anyone who needs marriage counseling new york has a large number of trained professionals, and this is part of what they do.




About the Author: