A plea such as 'I want my girlfriend back' contains within its own construction the reason why a person may have lost his girl friend in the first place. The selection of the personal pronoun 'I' as the first word in the sentence, and the use of 'my' signal selfishness and possessiveness. In any relationship these two traits are about as helpful as a flimsy umbrella in a hurricane.
It is accepted that very young children are entirely self centered. They think of themselves as the center of the universe and are incapable of conceiving intellectually that their mothers may be tired or distressed. However, a very important aspect of growth and maturity is the ability to relate to other people as ends in themselves.
As children turn into adults they become capable of forming relationships that demand maturity. Girls and boys meet, flirt and size each other up. They may at first be attracted by traits such as appearance and mutual compatibility but as an acquaintance turns towards something more intimate characteristics begin to emerge that change the landscape of a relationship.
Selfishness is a fault that is embarrassingly apparent. It manifests itself in actions, decisions and in the choice of words used. When the personal pronoun 'I' features prominently in an individual's vocabulary the chances are that he puts himself first as often as he uses the pronoun to start recording his thoughts. Selfishness is a sign that a boy may not have entirely outgrown his babyhood and that could make him a handicap in adult society.
Possessiveness is another unfortunate but common male trait that is like a large, flashing luminous warning sign to a girl. A possessive boy is possessive because he sees his girlfriend as something that he owns. In extreme cases jealousy may develop into a green eyed monster that leads to catastrophic consequences, as was the case when Othello smothered the girl he loved.
The possessive pronoun 'my' may be chosen unconsciously but might still be a sign that a boy, deep down, believes that he owns his girl. I want my girlfriend back could be phrased differently to use the girl's actual name. This would reveal more respect.
It is accepted that very young children are entirely self centered. They think of themselves as the center of the universe and are incapable of conceiving intellectually that their mothers may be tired or distressed. However, a very important aspect of growth and maturity is the ability to relate to other people as ends in themselves.
As children turn into adults they become capable of forming relationships that demand maturity. Girls and boys meet, flirt and size each other up. They may at first be attracted by traits such as appearance and mutual compatibility but as an acquaintance turns towards something more intimate characteristics begin to emerge that change the landscape of a relationship.
Selfishness is a fault that is embarrassingly apparent. It manifests itself in actions, decisions and in the choice of words used. When the personal pronoun 'I' features prominently in an individual's vocabulary the chances are that he puts himself first as often as he uses the pronoun to start recording his thoughts. Selfishness is a sign that a boy may not have entirely outgrown his babyhood and that could make him a handicap in adult society.
Possessiveness is another unfortunate but common male trait that is like a large, flashing luminous warning sign to a girl. A possessive boy is possessive because he sees his girlfriend as something that he owns. In extreme cases jealousy may develop into a green eyed monster that leads to catastrophic consequences, as was the case when Othello smothered the girl he loved.
The possessive pronoun 'my' may be chosen unconsciously but might still be a sign that a boy, deep down, believes that he owns his girl. I want my girlfriend back could be phrased differently to use the girl's actual name. This would reveal more respect.
